WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT FROM OUR PRODUCTS

Eco Friendly

We give a shit. That's why our products are plastic free and made with responsibly sourced ingredients.

Made to Heal You up Between Battles

Whether you have encountered something apocalyptic or just have done something stupid, we have the weapons you need on hand in your first aid arsenal.

Borderline Offensive Labeling

CAUTION: Our choice of words could insult uptight rigid Karens. We sure don't want to offend you, but if we do... oh well. We'll get over it.

Featured Products

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Hiker's Wound Salve for Wounds, Cuts, Bruises, Raw Skin, ect.

$14.99 USD

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LIP SERVICE: (Lip Balm) Talk is Cheap, So Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

$7.95 USD

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The Hairy Gnome - Blister Balm. Natural Healing Remedy for Blisters

$14.99 USD

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THIS STUFF SUCKS! The Hairy Gnome Ointment/ Remedy for Drawing Infection.

$14.99 USD

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10,000+ Reviews

What Our Customers Are Saying?

5.0 out of 5 stars Works great!!
Has worked wonders on my ear that keeps getting infected in the same piercing! Every time I use it - it works! Sometimes it could take a few days, but it works nonetheless! My gf recommended this to me and I’m so glad she did!

— Clark